Musings of Luciluna: memoirs of a biggish fish in a small pond

It's been a long time...

2010-03-15T15:57:00.003-04:00

since I posted here. Much water has gone under the bridge.

In a nutshell:

We received an offer for our Florida house which we accepted. Unfortunately, they were first time buyers and nervous as hell, and they drove us nearly around the bend. Up until the day before our 11/21/08 closing, we still weren't sure that they would close!

On Wednesday the 19th, the movers came. We'd received a reasonable estimate which was supposed to include a small but significant amount of packing - our dishes, pictures, lamps, clothes hanging in our closets. When they arrived - 7 hours later than promised - they were NOT prepared for ANY packing. The 5+ hours that followed were a nightmare of listening to their complaints and watching them pack things in jerry-rigged boxes because they didn't have the promised wardrobes, etc. It was horrendous. I'd tried to make clear that some of the items were to go to the house and some to the storage unit, but they paid no heed to my suggestions, and just tried to fit it all in. And to top it off the guys were thugs - really unpleasant, angry people who yelled at each other and complained and back-stabbed. I left on Friday morning, driving all the way with Chino and Roxy, and arriving completely exhausted, with the beginnings of a cold, to unseasonably cold weather!

The movers arrived Saturday morning an hour earlier than predicted - 8:00 a.m. It was freezing cold, in the single digits, and with a biting wind blowing. Anthony was still on the road from Columbia, where he had spent the night. It was determined that most of the stuff needed to go to the storage unit, we went there first. As I had feared, things that should have gone to the house were all mingled with storage-unit items. We had to look INTO unlabeled boxes (packed but not labeled by the movers) to figure out which was which. It took them 6 hours to unload, first into storage, and then at the house. I absolutely would NEVER recommend FATHER AND SONS MOVING to ANYONE! The fellow who gave me an estimate was completely inaccurate in describing what we wanted and the supplies we'd need, and even his co-workers were furious with him.

When they had finally driven off, we were left in our single-wide that was so jammed with boxes we could barely move from one end to another. I was feverish by then and feeling dreadful. But at least, the thugs were gone. I decided I could live with what was broken, and we could finally "relax." HA! With all those boxes everywhere, we couldn't relax. There was no PLACE to RELAX. But we were at least HOME in our new place. Thank heaven for small favors, as my mother used to say!

AT LAST!!!

2008-10-14T08:28:00.003-04:00

We have finally signed a contract and will close on the sale of our FL house on November 21st. HOORAY!!!! Between now and then, we are downsizing the S T U F F that has to be moved. I'm selling off music, furniture, and MY PIANO (my pal of 20 years, as sweet and warm today as it was then).

The mountains beckon. Maybe it was the three plus months I spent there this summer, but since my return, FL has not felt at all like home.

I will miss my students TERRIBLY. As Jennifer, who is a high school senior this year, said tearfully, "I've grown up with you!" 15-year-old, 6'3" Josiah is just starting to grow into his big bass voice. And Georgian-born Nanuka! They are family!

I have to go see the neurologist in Jax this morning - first time in nearly a year and a half. I will need a referral to someone in NC. It's been six and a half year since the terrible stroke. Now that I have been off the hormones since that time, I doubt I am stroke-prone anymore, but better safe than sorry.

REDUCED $35,000 - beautiful Florida home

2007-10-25T09:51:00.000-04:00

We have reduced the asking price to $250,000. It is a beautiful, comfortable home with a 400+ square foot separate home studio. Please have a look at our LOVELY HOME!

My Signature Song

2007-10-25T09:44:00.000-04:00

Summertime from Porgy and Bess by George Gershwin

Gilbert and Sullivan clips

2007-10-25T09:39:00.000-04:00

The hours creep on apace from HMS Pinafore by Gilbert and Sullivan
Sorry her lot from HMS Pinafore by Gilbert and Sullivan

Needing to remember to breathe....

2007-09-22T21:24:00.000-04:00

Yes, that's right! We are moving! We are leaving Florida as soon as we can sell our house. I know, I know, the market is just horrible. But I am a believer in things happening when they are supposed to happen. SO, I believe that the house will sell, and we will get enough from the sale of 4069 Red Pine Lane that we can build a beautiful studio in Asheville, too!

Anth and I have come to LOVE the little trailer. This past trip the mountains were so clear and beautiful. At night it's so sweetly peaceful.

I will miss my students more than I can allow myself to feel. They are like an extended family to me, and I feel like the young ones are "my children", bless them all! I will miss my dear friends, too. Once we have a new studio, the Captain will feel complete up there. He loves the outdoors, as do I, but feels empty in the evening, when he would like to be listening to his favorite symphonies!

So, dear reader, if you are in need of a studio space, or know someone who is, please refer him or her to our website (link is above).

Leaving Florida!

2007-09-22T15:53:00.000-04:00

We are selling our St. Augustine home! It's a lovely house with an superb detached studio with its own heat pump. For details, please see

http://4069redpinelane.blogspot.com

At Home in Asheville

2007-07-03T16:33:00.000-04:00

Well, the joke's on me! Because of Chino's need for daily meds, and Lucy's contrariness and wildness when someone tries to catch her, Anthony requested that I take Lucy, along with Chino. So I packed the car, caught and caged Chino, and spent 25 minutes trying to corral Lucy, while she growled, hissed and managed to elude me . Roxy watched, completely amused, terribly intrigued, and driving Lucy crazy by her presence.

Finally, I capitulated, called one of my teenage students to cat sit, and packed up Roxy. I think she knew that would happen all the time!

The cats rode pretty well. About 45 minutes into the trip Roxy decided she wanted her crate open. I opened it. She rode there for another 90 minutes, then climbed into the front seat and curled up under my knees. Chino, in typical "monkey see, monkey do" fashion, ultimately ended up in the same position on the passenger side. I had hoped to leave by 8:30 in the morning, but Mother was very slow getting dressed and packed. I know she is not feeling well, and is tired much of the time. When I compare this with our trip to the UK just 3 years ago, my heart aches. She will be 84 in September.

We finally left at 11:00, and because of the traffic didn't get here till after 4:00. We've been shopping, cooking and getting organized since we arrived on Saturday, and went to the Presbyterian Church on Sunday, a mother wished. I have contacted the local Christian Science churches for possible singing jobs. Asheville is out, but Hendersonville is a possibly. My one response to the vocal lessons ad decided my fees were too high. There may be more, who knows? I answered an ad for an English tutor, and will probably meet with the woman shortly. I have no idea how much to charge, though.

Anthony arrived on Monday, with my laptop!!!!! Yay! I don't know how I forgot it! And I sure missed it. Today, I opened a local bank account.

I finished my largest kimono canvas Monday night, and an Easter egg last night. They will reside here in Asheville.

Anth and Mother are leaving on Saturday morning, before I try the new colorist. Then I have Sunday to go to the Hendersonville CS church.

My buddy Linda arrives on Monday before lunch, and will stay till Wednesday. Daughter Sarah and her beau Bob arrive around noon on Friday and will stay till Monday. I have to go back south on Friday. Seems like a short stay.

So far, I have had no hiking time! Perhaps tomorrow morning while my mother is taking her shower!

Off to the Mountains!

2007-06-28T10:51:00.000-04:00

I don't know why it is that whenever I am ready to head to NC, one of the cats needs medical attention! This time it was Chino. He started on Sunday to have accidents around the house - terrible diarrhea, which seemed to come on him in a rush, so he didn't have time to make it to the litterbox. After cleaning up four of these awful messes, I called the vet. He spent the night and she decided he had a Clostridium infection and started him on antibiotics. Poor baby. He does not like the pills and the loose stools are not completely gone, but I have to load him in the car and take him to Charleston. Say a little prayer, please. My mother would have great difficulty with him if he had an accident in her house. I worry that the stress of the trip is not going to help him either. I hope this okay to do. I can just imagine being on interstate 95 with Chino having diarrhea in his crate! Ugh!

I had planned to take Roxy, and have Anthony bring Chino, and leave Lucy at home with a pet sitter. We have not been able to contact any pet sitters. They seem to have vanished. Anthony is afraid to pick up Lucy, as she turns into a whirlwind with teeth and claws. So I am taking the poor little sick boy, Chino, and Lucy, because I can pick her up, though she protests and struggles. Doesn't all this sound pleasant? Now why is MY stomach feeling queasy!

The plan is for my mother and me (and the felines) to leave early tomorrow morning for Asheville. It's a slightly over 4 hour drive. I won't relax till we get there.

Gardening in NC

2007-06-14T09:56:00.000-04:00

I am quite anxious to put my green thumb to work in NC. I restrained myself last trip because I realize that the three weeks before I return would likely doom anything I put in. I'm longing to plant coneflowers and columbine,

lilacs and forsythia , and clematis vines. The propane tank has a trellis of sorts surrounding two sides and might be just the place for a clematis.

When we were there for our birthdays, many of the roses were in bloom - particularly the little red climbers! There were also white, pink, yellow and a lovely peachy pink one with fuschia-colored lips. I've never grown roses. Actually, I feel rather intimidated by them. The previous owners left some fungicide and other rose chemicals. Anybody out there have tips for me? I'm equally afraid of doing too much or too little!

When we were there in May the peonies were in bloom. I've always wanted peonies. I really love the possibilities. And did I mention the asparagus? We didn't harvest it in May because we had no working stove to cook it on. Now, in June, its feathery foliage waves in the breeze!

For the time being, all I can do is plan and dream. But these are pleasant dreams. What I prize most highly is the sweetness and lightness of the air. I'm not fooling myself that it won't be hot there in July and August, but compared with the heavy mantle that is the Florida's humidity and heat, it will be a relief.

West Asheville, and more....

2007-06-13T17:34:00.001-04:00

We are coming to the conclusion that West Asheville, where we are located, is an old community populated by longtime residents and their families. We have made just one set of friends in the cul-de-sac, and they, too, are fairly new residents! The old timers see us and take note of us, but are not friendly.

R & R just moved into a rehabbed house just down the hill from us. They have a 5 year old son. She brought us a plate of cookies on Saturday!

Our most recent trip to Asheville was the week of our birthdays, mine on the 7th and his on the 9th. We had a wonderful time. We hiked three of the four full days I was there - cool, fragrant woodland trails. We drove to Mt. Mitchell - 6684 feet above sea level, and to Mt. Pisgah. Mitchell was very high, with altitude stunted trees and a view for MILES! Both days were beautifully clear, quite rare in these mountains.

On the trail at Mt. Pisgah, inspecting the wild blueberries.

The Captain at an overlook on the Blue Ridge Parkway.

Wind-gnarled trees near the summit at Mount Mitchell.

The furniture arrived on my birthday - dressers, nightstands and a sofa table. We had bought a bookstand to house the TV at Target, but after 4 attempts at assembling it, I gave up and asked R to try his hand at it. He installed our towel bars, too, as I left my drill in FL. New dresser and chest.

Roxy came with me this trip. I stopped overnight in Charleston on the way north and she made a good adjustment to the changes. It was a bit harder in Asheville, probably due to having to endure to a second car trip. But ultimately, she made herself completely at home!

The Closing

2007-06-13T17:05:00.000-04:00

We closed on the NC home on May 11th. On Wednesday, in all the heavy smoke from the Georgia wildfire, the Captain and friend Art loaded up the 10' rental truck they would come north in on Friday. My friend Jean and I drove the 490 miles on Thursday, bought a 32" flat screen TV and a DVD player, as well as a microwave that night before falling into bed early. Friday morning we had to get verification of insurance, so hunted up the agent's location and headed to the beautiful old but remodeled building where the lawyer had his offices. The closing was a bit bumpy. The title was temporarily missing, and that was our backer's ONLY requirement. He also insisted that his Park Avenue lawyer speak with the NC lawyer before the signing of documents. While corrections were being made in the spelling of the street name, the two lawyers spoke. Then I signed what was necessary and my realtor came with us to the trailer, where she discovered that she could not open the lock box. We went to buy two queen size beds, so everyone would have a place to sleep that night. The requirement was they be delivered that day - and we had to confirm that because NO ONE wanted to sleep on the floor! We did find the beds, in stock, and able to be brought to the trailer and set up that day!

Meanwhile, Captain and Art were lumbering along in the truck. The lawyer had insisted Anthony sign the papers on Friday afternoon, or we could not take possession till Monday! The hustled north over the mountain pass and arrived at 4:10. We raced to the lawyer's and he signed!! Then we all unloaded the truck into the 80 degree house (the air was struggling to cool it down on a hot day) and when finished, we went out to eat in a little Mexican restaurant on Patton Avenue. We had to pick up some supplies as well, but that was fairly quick.

What a good foursome we made! We had wonderful and interesting conversations ranging from polygamy to homelessness, from St. Augustine to the Bahamas and to the NY metropolitan area. Jean and Art each took a very quick shower. Did I say that the hot water was not yet working? The well water was icy!

We had the electrician in the next day and got the hot water working. We still couldn't fire up the stove (powered by propane) so we were eating rotisserie chicken from the Ingles up the road (did I mention we are 5 minutes from THREE big supermarkets?)

On Sunday, we drove up the Blue Ridge Parkway to just over a mile high Craggy Gardens. Then we came down a wonderful dirt backroad to Barnardsville. The end of that road in the Park was a community of trailers with cars on blocks, etc. That was kind of surprising, as the whole Asheville area has an urbanity and sophistication that is at first surprising and then one of the characteristics one comes to expect. But more about this, later.

It was really a lovely trip. On Saturday afternoon, Art went downtown to explore, and we all joined him later for a quick walking tour and dinner. Sadly, he ate something spoiled and spent the night sick from food poisoning!

On Monday we drove back to FL.

On Sunday, we were sitting on the front deck and a bank of clouds moving west over Asheville, darkening the city below, seemed about to plow into our little home! We were almost above that bank of clouds. How wonderful!

Our Mountain Sanctuary

2007-06-12T14:30:00.001-04:00

It's Been a Long Time Coming...

2007-06-12T14:28:00.000-04:00

But I'll be posting news and photos very soon.

Asleep on my Feet

2007-04-29T11:53:00.000-04:00

Last night was the last night of Italian Cabaret was for this season. I am practically asleep on my feet, after that performance, church this morning, and ALL THOSE REHEARSALS last week. And this afternoon is one more performance - the Saint Augustine Singers under the direction of KVB. There are about 30 of us in the group. I have a neat little solo in a South American lullaby called Duerme Negrito.

What will tire me out today is all the standing and the need for strong focus and attention.

Next Sunday is the Mozart Requiem, with rehearsals Monday, Tuesday and Thursday, plus my regular teaching schedule.

YES!!!! I love to sing!!!!!! And I don't mean to whine, but I sure wish things could be spaced out a little! I think I will try to sneak in a little nap, now.

Thursday Thirteen - Famous or Infamous People Who Share My Birthday

2007-04-27T13:34:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know it's Friday. Sometimes Thursday's jobs have to be done on Friday.

This is a fun topic. There were listings for baseball players, jurists, Nobel Prize laureates, prime ministers, and even one for a Jewish Rapper!!! Starting with the oldest entry in Wikipedia:

1529 - Étienne Pasquier, French lawyer and man of letters (d. 1615) - I have no connection to this one, but is was nearly 400 years ago, which is rather cool.
1778 - Beau Brummell, English fashion leader (d. 1840) - Whoa! A fashion plate!
1848 - Paul Gauguin, French painter (d. 1903) - I like Gaugin!
1897 - George Szell, Hungarian conductor (d. 1970) - I add this one because he is one of Captain Classics' favorite conductors.
1909 - Virginia Apgar, American physician and childbirth specialist (d. 1974) - The doctor for whom the Apgar scores were named.
1909 - Jessica Tandy, English-born actress (d. 1994) - Jessica Tandy is one of my favorite, very classy actresses.
1929 - The Grand Wizard of Wrestling, Wrestling manager - how could I fail to include THIS ONE!
1937 - Neeme Järvi, Estonian conductor - Another conductor for the Captain.
1940 - Tom Jones, Welsh singer - What's new pussycat, whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!
1952 - Liam Neeson, Northern Irish actor - Schindler's List, Rob Roy, Philadelphia, and the list goes on.....
1954 - Louise Erdrich, American author - I LOVE Louise Erdrich's books. She writes mainly about Native American themes. She went to Dartmouth, which is in Hanover, NH, my home town. She wrote Love Medicine, The Beet Queen, and with husband Michael Dorris, A Yellow Raft in Blue Water and The Crown of Columbus. I like it that we share the same birthday!
1958 - Prince, American musician
1976 - Necro, Jewish American rapper

Beginning of the realization of our dream

2007-04-25T13:01:00.000-04:00

The Captain found 2 boxes outside our front door on his way out. "What's this?" he asked. I helped him bring them into the house. The small box he held in his hand was surprisingly heavy. "It's cutlery for North Carolina," I replied. The tape on the big box was partly opened. Inside were packages and boxes containing a bath sheet, 2 tubmats, a set of 3 purple plastic mixing bowls, a toaster, two sets of purple towels, and an oval braided rug.

Such excitement! If we are buying furnishings, it must really be happening. Time to start packing - my sewing machine and fabric, with my Nanny's birds-eye maple dressing table, which I have long used as a sewing spot, will also go. Cold weather clothes will begin to live in Asheville, too. All those mugs that crowd the cupboard, threatening to fall to the ceramic tile floor and break, can be divided between our northern and southern homes.

We still need 2 beds, a futon for the living room, 2 televisions - one for the living room and a small one for the guest bedroom, a DVD player, a dining table and chairs, some end tables, and a dresser for the master bedroom. This is fun, planning and dreaming.

Sometimes it all seems too good to be true! As a firm believer in the dangers of hubris, I occasionally worry that my joy and my pride will lead to my downfall. Put into print, that sounds silly and superstitious, and probably is, in truth. So I vow not to be negative about this. It IS a dream come true, but sometimes they can! How blessed I feel!

Italian Cabaret is TONIGHT!

2007-04-21T16:56:00.000-04:00

Our newest show opens tonight. I am singing in many numbers, including That's Amore!, La ci darem la mano (duet from Don Giovanni), Libiamo from La Traviata as Violetta, Quando m'en vo (otherwise known as Musetta's Waltz) from La boheme, Noi siamo zingarelle (the Gypsy chorus from La Traviata), Italian Street Song as a duet, and the Finale (which combines Torna a Surriento/Arrivederci Roma/and Addio from L'Elisir d'Amore. I've been busting my butt all week to memorize everything, something that grows more difficult with age. We should have a nice crowd and it will be a fun and high-energy evening. I 've sung the Don Giovanni duet dozens of times; did the Violetta in English, so just need to remember the Italian; I'm a little worried about the Gypsy chorus - lots of words; but I am premiering (for me) the Musetta, and I want it to be wonderful.

Wish me luck or pray for me. In the opera world you say, "In boca al lupo", which means "into the mouth of the wolf." I respond with "Crepi il lupo", which means "to hell with the wolf!"

Fun Monday!

2007-04-16T13:42:00.000-04:00

Sorry for being so S L O W! Went to Cardio Rehab this morning and the took the Captain out for new shoes.

What is your favorite word?

Almost anything in French or Italian, I love how they feel in my mouth and the beauty of the spoken vowels.
Also, "sweetheart" when the Captain says it.

What is your least favorite word?

Telephone

What turns you on (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)?

A book like Ahab's Wife, with exquisite prose and an interesting story line.
A brand new needlepoint canvas.
Walking in the woods near my son's house in Chester, NY.
My gorgeous purple iris, or lilies of the valley.
Singing a song I love.
My kitties doing anything cute or loveable.

What turns you off?

Generalizations, especially about people's behavior or personality traits.

What is your favorite curse word?

I blush to admit this secret sin - it's the Anglo-Saxon word for copulation that practically every character in the Sopranos uses at least once a night. Often called the F word.

What sound or noise do you love?

My kitties talking or purring.
Certain pieces of music, like Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet, or the 2nd movement of Schubert's 956 quintet.

What sound or noise do you hate?

People talking in a movie or live performance.

What profession, other than your own, would you like to attempt?

Crime scene investigator

What profession would you not like to attempt?

Lawyer

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Well done, good and faithful servant." Can't think of anything better than that one, Mama!

Odds and Ends

2007-04-14T15:59:00.000-04:00

This is a "round-up" post. Yesterday was a really blissful day - I had my teeth cleaned (I am one of probably 3 people in the world who LIKES going to get my teeth cleaned - if you are one too, please let me know!) and then I went to REHAB (no, it's nothing so trendy as where Brittney Spears went - just a bunch of old farts who have had heart "episodes" and their spouses who come three times a week to walk on the treadmill, etc, and lift dumbbells), and THEN I went with my dear friend to A Stitch in Time (if you want to buy a great needlework store, it's for sale). (What a long and confusing run on sentence!)

After a long period of frugality, I had decided to pick up the new Mindy canvas I had on layaway and also the 3rd of the three Twelve Days of Christmas squares I've been working on. I also needed thread for the Mindy iris canvas. Here are pictures of the new canvases.
by captluci
I came home from the store feeling really fine and happy and fell asleep for 2 hours! Woke up feeling great, and stitched as I watched old Oprahs and Dr. Phil's that I had recorded and not had time to watch.

The lovely and highly unusual nap meant I could not fall asleep last night! I was awake till two. The cats came to find me, to see if they could get me to go to bed, all 23 pounds of lynxpoint Siamese Roxy lying in front of the computer monitor in a mound. After awhile, even they gave up and sacked out near me in the computer room, where I was surfing away on sites for furnishings for NC.

Finally, and most uncharacteristically, Chino left me a little present on the bathroom rug (whew, did it stink!) - and that made me uneasy, because he has always been good about his bathroom habits.

Today, when finally crawled out of bed, still glowing from my wonderful day off, I realized I needed to put together the program for our upcoming production - Cabaret - Italian Style! I have been creating the programs for as long as First Coast Opera has existed, but it was supposed to have been done by someone else this time. I know I am my own worst enemy in this regard; my standards are so high that I don't really, truly trust other people to tackle it. Who knows, a word might be misspelled, or something equally intolerable!!!

So, of course, by default, I am making the program again. There were a few glitches, such as, not knowing who is singing the Abbondanza Trio, and not being sure which composer wrote the Core Ingrato that Roger is singing, but otherwise, it was not terribly painful OR time-consuming. The real problem wsa that, CHAMPION PROCRASTINATOR that I am, I had planned to use today to really learn all my music. 'Course, I could be doing it now, too. It will be rough during rehearsal tomorrow. But I will get it done by Saturday's performance.

I did find time to look out the French doors in the living room that over look the garden and the pond. A gorgeous all PURPLE IRIS was unfurled. I grabbed the digital camera - what could be more photogenic than a purple iris on a sunny day. Upon stepping out the door I found another surprise. There are good things about Florida!

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-04-13T23:54:00.001-04:00

What I was doing at midnight at the end of Friday the Thirteenth!

WOW!

2007-04-12T10:33:00.000-04:00

We are getting the largest tax refund ever this year, mostly because of the Prius, our

sweet little hybrid car, that came with a $3100 tax CREDIT, and incidentally, gets 50 mpg! We are excited to be able to settle more comfortably into the role of homeowners of TWO homes, i.e., payers of TWO mortgages, TWO homeowners insurance premiums, TWO utility bills, etc. You get the picture.

I'm still on cloud NINE thinking that I can escape the Florida summer heat, which gave us a slight preview with a temperature of 88 yesterday.

The Negotiations

2007-04-08T12:51:00.000-04:00

The caller ID showed an Asheville area code, so I eagerly answered the phone. Karen said hello and then reported that they had 2 inches of snow, "The day before Easter!" All I could think was what must the view be like when it snowed on Jacob Lane.

"So, is there news?" I queried.

"They accepted your offer," Karen replied.

The joy I felt at her words was indescribable; it was followed immediately by the conviction that I would work hard to keep this in my life. Then came the gratitude - to the sellers, to Karen, to Anthony, and to our ANGEL who is making this possible.

Asheville

2007-04-05T09:44:00.001-04:00

Photobucket Album

Our Little Home in Asheville!

2007-04-04T14:14:00.000-04:00

I found it! After a miserably disheartening first day of searching mobile homes that reeked of cigarette smoke, urine, and despair, I found sanctuary!

We have made an offer, and now await the response. I just love it there. When I walked into the house, I said, "This feels like HOME!" There are two big rose bushes, as well as assorted other flowers planted, and several large raised beds for vegetables, herbs and flowers!

The altitude is 2315 - high enough to catch the mountain breezes, and to see to the range that lies beyond Asheville. The inside is bright, and clean, and even has a gas range. It has a gas stove for extra heating and atmosphere. It even has cable - I hope it has high speed, too.

I see myself gardening, hiking, exploring, sewing, stitching, reading, and enjoying the peacefulness. We may even close very soon, if the offer is accepted. If you want to see pictures, click here.

Going to Asheville to Find a 2nd Home

2007-03-28T23:47:00.000-04:00

Pray for me! Even if you are not a great believer in prayer! I need all the spiritual, emotional, universal support I can get! Tomorrow morning I journey to Charleston to pick up my Little Mother, and then together, we go to the Asheville area to look for a place for me to escape to when the FL weather threatens to undo me! This is really important to my life.

The longer I live in FL the more I dread June to November, or Tropical Storm/Hurricane Season. It's like NOTHING I ever knew in the Northeast! I fear the storms, and the devastation that accompanies them! My head knows how irrational this is, but I am consumed with a visceral dread of the storms.

Not only do I need mountains for my soul, but I need respite from this dread!

And how I miss the hiking, being in a natural world that feels like home to me. Forget the notion that all the natural world is home! I need my woods! I'm so torn by this issue.

Whatever power there is that can divine and untangle our souls, I am in need of for this. For years, I have espoused the Lakota saying, "Mitakuyasin" - translated as "we are all related: or "all my relations". But the FL natural world seems forbidding and alien to me. I need my "Piney Wood Hills".

I just want a small place near to the mountains that will allow me to find hiking trails and natural woodland spots where I feel at home. No matter whether that even seems rational! It's my fondest wish and prayer!

Big Changes Are in the Wind

2007-03-20T11:02:00.000-04:00

We may be buying a small place in North Carolina soon!!!!!!!!!

There are angels at work, and I may not have to endure the oppressive heat of a Florida summer for all of June, July, August, September and October. I may even have a small place to escape to with my kitties. I know it gets hot in NC, too, but usually the evenings are sweet, as are the early mornings. I am so excited. Next week will travel up there and check out some properties.

Hooray!

2007-03-13T11:29:00.000-04:00

Finished gathering and sorting for the "tax man". Now it's up to him to get it in the forms and on its way. We are getting a $3100 tax credit for purchasing the Prius!

Taxes and Other Financial Headaches

2007-03-08T12:54:00.000-05:00

We have a wonderful tax return coming this year, thanks to my beloved hybrid car. I can't really figure out why I have been procrastinating in getting them done! It's not even as if I prepare them - we hand the necessary documents to the accountant! At any rate, I think it's probably a symptom of the general lack of focus of my life just now. Perhaps now I have posted about it, I can get it done! Wish me luck!

$ $ $ $

Ugh!

2007-03-02T18:34:00.000-05:00

I've been sick the last few days, actually since the Captain left on his trip to Arkansas. So basically I have done only what had to be done, like feed the cats and clean the litter boxes (UGH), sleep, read, stitch, only going out twice to replenish supplies. It's been kind of restful, but also disappointing. I missed out on a big teaching/earning day yesterday, though it's doubtful if I had either the stamina or the voice to give all those lessons.

With the scary news about the high school kids who died at school in the Enterprise, Alabama tornado, and our area being under a tornado watch for most of yesterday afternoon and evening, the day took on something of a surreal quality. Add to that, that I slept most of the night propped up on the couch, because lying down I was unable to breathe, and you have a recipe for disorientation. Having a fever didn't help either.

I think I am coming out of it now. I can actually taste things, and I can breathe without nose spray.

This is all meaningless drivel. But I feel somehow relieved to set it down on "paper". Maybe it means I am emerging. Strange how just a couple of days can seem like perishingly long time!

Into the Arms of Strangers:: Stories of the Kindertransport

2007-02-24T21:22:00.000-05:00

I rented this from Netflix this week, and I have not been so moved in a long time. To even begin to imagine the pain of watching your children leave and not know if or when you will see them again, is a horror I can barely stand to imagine. To dream and indeed to have been charged to save your parents from the Nazi horror at the tender age of 8 or 10, and then to have communication cease because of a declaration of war, is a charge to a young child that is an unimaginable horror. This is a powerful movie, filled with the voices of the children who were part of the Kindertransport, and others involved. Please find it, take it home and view it. We are terribly disconnected from the horrors of war. WWII was different in some ways, but with all the nightly film clips from the news, we still need to remember that NOW is only real when we understand that there is a BEFORE and AFTER. I don't know when I have been so moved by a film.

My TINIEST Needlework Projects - My Dream Dollhouse

2007-02-22T18:41:00.000-05:00

Here is a teaser to pique your interest in my magnificent dollhouse, made by my dad, whose a tiny oil portrait hangs over the mantle in the dining room.

Below is a link to the pictures of my dollhouse. The tiny projects are a sampler and the very tiny dining room chair seats, cross-stitched to match the green wallpaper with roses on it. I used the smallest possible Aida.

My dad made the house for me (from plans, not a kit) over three years, beginning in 1983. He made most of the furnishings, too. He would buy a kit and then use it as a template. That way I have an oak bedroom, too. The house has two sides: the front with entry and 3 storey stairs, formal living and dining rooms, bedroom and family room; the back has a large kitchen, music room, library, oak bedroom, bath and project room. The house was a labor of love.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Welcome.jsp?&fromlogo=true
On the right of the screen you can become a member. I have lots of photos on this site. It's free and you can easily share pix with others. Please leave a comment and tell me if it works. Once you have signed up, you can use this link. Pictures of my dollhouse I know it seems like a lot of effort, but if you like miniatures, it is truly worth it!

Music, Music, Music!

2007-02-22T13:04:00.001-05:00

JL, JK and NG went to the auditions/adjudications last Saturday and received fabulous reports from the judge, Dr. Krystof Biernacki, head of the Opera and Voice departments at UNF in Jax. I was thrilled and very proud, as he is demanding, and his comments reinforced just what I have been saying to these students all along. They were thrilled too! And, my, oh, my, when I introduced myself, he knew my name! He had heard of the opera company (FCO) and our struggles to survive, as well as our triumphs. This is very gratifying! Most often, we get "There's an opera company in St. Augustine?" Ah, me!

Then, the Captain and I drove to Tampa for Anton Coppola's Sacco and Vanzetti. We stayed in a wonderful small suite, complete with bedroom, sitting room/kitchen, with free wi-fi connection! I almost wished we were staying longer! Probably would have, too, if Alex-Paras had been open on Sunday. I have always had a yen to visit that place!

The opera was fascinating. Coppola is 90 years old. He conducted the piece, which he wrote in his early 80's, for the full 3 and 1/2 hours! I don't know if he is a first generation Italian in America, but he really underscored the immigrant condition, complete with the "what goes around comes around" attitude of the Irish towards the newly-arrived Italians. What was truly inspiring was the depth of the casting. Even the smaller roles were sung well. It was obvious in what high esteem the Tampa crowd holds the Maestro!

A Visitor at the Front Door

2007-02-22T12:34:00.000-05:00

I'm playing Scrabble Cubes on line when I see Judy's PT Cruiser pull up. When she knocks at the door I hurry to open it and in she comes. As I proceed to close the door, I see, as you can see, too, a beautiful serpent.

Hmmm. I must say up front that I really LIKE snakes. I think they are handsome and fascinating, so my first thought is to run for the camera. I return, camera in hand, and open the door. Judy keeps Roxy from first hand investigation while I "snap" digital pictures. I keep trying to get a side view of his head, to look for the telltale horizontal yellow stripe from his eye to the back of his head. He obliges me by opening his cotton mouth. Oh, yes, this is a young water moccasin, otherwise known as a cottonmouth.

This is the third venomous snake we have had within 15 feet of an entrance to our house, in less than 9 months time. One, a good-sized pygmy rattler, struck within inches of my hand as I was weeding in our mulched garden last fall! The other was a yearling moccasin, right off the "bridge" that connects the screened porch to the studio.

I'd been contemplating getting into the garden to restyle it. This little visitor will give me pause.

I found my snake tongs in the garage, picked up the unwelcome serpent, and moved him down to the end of the driveway. Okay, it's not the best choice, but I don't have a good container to move him in, and I didn't feel like parading around the neighborhood in with a venomous serpent! The Captain's comment was "Put the house back on the market!" He is not as fond of the scaly creatures as I am!

Here is a close up shot. C'est belle, n'est-ce pas?

Two Kinds of Stakes

2007-02-16T09:18:00.000-05:00

The Captain's friend BK offered to stake me to half of $500 if I would put up the other half. He would register on my behalf and I would play. Obviously he has NO idea what $250 means to us. I know he regularly has 10 times that in a "pot". Winning and losing large sums is another day's work for him. At least he understands very well the ephemeral nature of money!

On the other hand, today I am going to Jax to invest in a different kind of stake. I'm going to work at the Florida Federation of Music Clubs Festival, where young people (under 19) are adjudicated, critiqued and encouraged to continue their musical education. I expect it will be a grueling day - 11:30 to 8 or so, with an hour's travel time either way. Then tomorrow morning, three of MY students are being adjudicated, as well, so I must be there at 8:30 with our accompanist. They are all SO well prepared. I find it thrilling to work with them - beautiful young voices, exquisite music, and their palpable excitement. Beautiful music is at the heart of civilized life. This is MY stake in their future, and in a much broader sense, the future of civilization.

My Very Short Career as an On-Line Gambler

2007-02-13T12:21:00.000-05:00

Ha ha ha! The joke's on me. I decided I would take a chance on a $10 fee and see how it went. After completing the whole process to update my account, etc., the website would not allow me to play for money!!! What a good laugh that gave me!

SCRABBLE for dollars!

2007-02-13T12:03:00.000-05:00

Shhh! I have a secret. I love to play Scrabble! Last night I heard a TV commercial for an online Scrabble game where you can earn money for winning!

With a sharp bolt of lighting and a crack of thunder, a whole new world opened up! Fear and trembling! I skipped my stitching time in the evening and played. Did I put up any money? Heaven forfend! I merely played to see what my average was of winning games. I figure if I can win 60% of 5000 games, I can make a little money. We shall see. Of course they match players, probaby by winning percentage or by average or high score, and I am sure it is geared to let you win just enough to keep you hooked. They even offer free games to entice you. Pray for me! I know my obsessive nature. This will take LOTS of discipline. I need all the help I can get!!!

Hilarious NEW Search Engine

2007-02-11T14:30:00.000-05:00

If you haven't checked out Mrs. Dewey yet, you have to see this! It's funny and interactive. Probably doesn't work as well as Google, but certainly is more amusing!

Saturday Morning Thoughts

2007-02-10T06:54:00.000-05:00

Awake at 5 a.m. with worries about debt, once again. I waited till 6 to turn on the light to read the little book I bought this week about credit card debt. Finally got up and made a cup of tea at 6:40. The book, Credit Card Debt by Alexander Daskaloff, sets out a system of strategies that begin with organizing all credit card data, then systematically reducing the interest load. Oddly enough, I had already begun this process on my own! He is way ahead of my thought processes, though, and I think this is all very well-worthwhile.

Coincidentally, last night I watched an Oprah I had recorded featuring Peter Walsh about eliminating clutter, and how doing so can change your life! Another good path, now that the depression is lifting. Even an hour a day would make a good start on that project. Fortunately, we did quite a bit of that when we put the house on the market in October. Walsh spoke of "the room you don't want anyone to see" - "quick, honey, close the ___ room door so the guests don't see it!" LOL - doesn't everyone have one of those?

The neurologist wants me to repeat the nerve conduction studies to see how the carpal tunnel constriction is progressing (or not!). What an unpleasant test! Still, he says that if one is going to need hand surgery to release the nerve, it should be done before muscle fibers begin to break down. This is a man of few words - my semi-annual consists mainly of hi, how are you, how's the right hand, see you in 6 months. But he did promote this, and it does make sense, I think.

It is a beautiful Florida dawn here now at 7:11 a.m. - pale blue sky with deep purple and pink tinged with orange clouds. In the still morning air I hear the drumming rhythm of a train down the road a mile or so. I do love winter here.

The Captain and I had a conversation last night (that my husband of 9 years). I'd been thinking of how much I appreciate the man he has become. We have grown so much closer in the past 2-3 years. He really knows me know - and I think I know him, too. Since I reached my 20's, I have longed to be "known". I wish my brothers would care enough to try. I know it is too soon to hope for my son wanting to know me. Why do I feel this is self-indulgent, too? Old tapes tell me that it is not important to most people. In my family, it is apparently a woman's job to care enough to learn about someone. That is why I am so fervently grateful for the Captain. Low-maintenance he ain't, but his other qualities make that okay!

Three of my students are coming this morning for a rehearsal with the accompanist, prior to their adjudication next Saturday morning. Each of the girls is singing two art songs and two musical theater songs. It's so much fun to see their growth.

The Test Results

2007-02-09T09:13:00.000-05:00

Roxy does NOT have heart worm!!! I am so relieved. Heart worm is a death sentence for a cat. Perhaps they can live for a time, with breathing compromised, but the treatment can be deadly, too.

That means she DOES have asthma. It may be caused by allergies, or the fact that she weighs 23 # 8 oz. Doesn't really matter. I have not tried the treatment yet: When she has an attack, I am supposed to aim my albuterol inhaler into a lunch bag-sized paper bag and spray 4 puffs, they immediately place the bag over her head and hold it!!!! Can you just picture this? The cat is madly backing up and shaking her head. Of course she also gasps, which means she gets some treatment for her breathing! Then the next time I need to open a paper bag, she is g-o-n-e in a flash. It would be very funny if asthma weren't a serious condition!

Since she had the depomedrol (cortisone) shot on Tuesday, she is much better. I haven't heard her cough once, and she has more energy. Those of you who have ever taken cortisone know how quickly it can reduce symptoms.

Okay, now I am off to see the neurologist for a semi-annual recheck. On March 18th it will be 5 years since the stroke that hospitalized me for 5 days. I think I will reward myself with a visit to A Stitch in Time.

Little Cat Stocking

2007-02-06T13:16:00.000-05:00

This is the little Cat Stocking I stitched in December. I love the kitty's furry back!

My most beautiful work to date

2007-02-05T14:30:00.000-05:00

Here is my musical needlepoint canvas, finished and framed! What a joy it was to stitch!

It's all relative

2007-02-05T12:52:00.000-05:00

It is February. The 5th, to be precise. 3 weeks ago I had some routine tests done at the lab. Last week my doctor called me in, just as she had in October when I had the upper endoscopy performed, because my ferritin level was low. It is again, so she sent me to the gastroenterologist, who has recommended a colonoscopy. I had one done that awful September of 2004 when Charley, Frances and one other hurricane/tropical storm came through. What a nuisance. Mostly, I am afraid we will owe again for the anesthesiologist, whom I just paid off for the EGD. Argh.... Can't seem to get ahead.

I'm on a z-pack, too, for a sinus infection that struck me on Friday - fierce headache that would NOT go away, and lethargy. I have canceled, in the past 5 days, $135 worth of lessons. I HATE to do that, but I just have not felt well enough! I know I cannot push for too long or too hard before I pay for it physically. I did it for 5 years during the divorce, and look where it got me - scleroderma and autoimmune liver disease.

I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I'm struggling to maintain a positive attitude - in fact, I think I have failed with that! Still, I spoke to B.A. today and her sister is having a prophylactic double mastectomy done in early March. B.A., her mother, and one of her sisters, have all had breast cancer. I need to keep this all in perspective. Whew!

So, I will end this with a litany of gratitude. I am grateful for:
1. A wonderful, supportive, loving husband, whom I love!
2. Relatively good health
3. A home I love, that is comfortable and warm - a haven and a sanctuary.
4. Three beautiful, loving cats.
5. Needlepoint!!
6. Singing!
7. An occupation that I truly enjoy most of the time, that makes me feel useful and uniquely special.
8. Good friends.
9. My computer!
10. Living in a country with more freedoms, resources and wealth than most of the world can imagine.

That should do it! I will ponder these blessings and keep them in my heart. I will substitute a positive affirmation whenever I'm tempted to feel sorry for myself. I hate self-pity! Ugh!

Nearly everything in life to which we give "value" is relative, and I need to remember this!
Woohoo!

Tying up some loose ends

2007-01-30T11:53:00.000-05:00

How on earth did it get to be the 30th of January already?????

Where DOES the time go?

Well, regarding the opera I was rushing off to....(http://www.metoperafamily.org/metopera/broadcast/hd_events.aspx) was a marvelous experience! I Puritani by Bellini is not a well-know opera, and does not have any arias or ensembles among "opera's greatest hits", but the 6 of us who attended are still raving, and plan to attend Eugene Onegin, The Barber of Seville and Il Trittico planned for the end of each of the next three months.

Here are the 2 negatives I feel deserve attention:

1. Picture quality on the high definition big screen was quite variable.
2. The tech people who ran the "projector" had the volume so high the pitches were distorted, and it required two requests to reduce the volume before it was closer to the sound you would expect to hear at the Met.

However, the positives definitely outweighed the negatives!!!

1. Wonderful odd camera angles - backstage right looking at the audience, for instance, or backstage during intermission as the set was being changed! These are amazing glimpses of the production that one cannot get sitting in the audience!
2. Incredible close-up shots that show detail of costume and facial expressions.
3. The wonderful interview that Renee Fleming did with 36 year old Russion soprano Anna Netrebko (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anna_Netrebko) featured questions that only another singer would know to ask! It provided a wonderfully intimate view of the performance.
4. As an experienced singer/performer I loved the event, but so did audience members who were there for the music or the drama and not for the glimpse it offered into working at the Met.

I highly recommend that you go. Please check the link above for locations, times, and more information.
************************************************
I've been depressed for the past three weeks. First Coast Opera (www.firstcoastopera.com) had to cancel the March production of La Boheme, because of debt incurred from our 2006 productions. This is highly discouraging, particularly in view of the fact that the venue was not lost as we supposed from the choral director's attitude over the paperwork for the last production (Babes in Toyland). On the other hand, to have gone ahead would have been so labor intensive, that I don't know if I could have survived it. I have terribly mixed feelings. On the one hand I mourn the loss of what I know would have been a marvelous production, as well as the opportunity to sing Musetta. But I have a overwhelming sense of relief not to have to either shoulder the burden of all those details or find the strength to refuse to do them! Whew....

Adding to my sadness and confusion about the opera company, is my grief and responsibility about the credit card debt we are in. Anthony doesn't often spend money, and in the past year and a half, I have been uncharacteristically "spendthrift-y" (sic). I guess it was my reward for being on the wagon, but whatever the cause, it has dug us a pretty big hole, that will require much discipline and some privation compared with our recent standard of living. Both bearing the responsibility of the debt and living with the reduced circumstances beats me down some.
*****************************************************
I've been teaching a LOT up at the high school. After exploring medical transcription as a source of income ($10-15/per hour), I decided that teaching at $25 a lesson, even with the annoyance and time lost from traveling 20 minutes each way, was the better direction in which to head. I know that that source will dry up from May to September, but I will deal with that when I must.
****************************************************

On a good note, I'm still doing needlepoint each evening for 2-5 hours, and still just LOVING it. I have several projects going at once and trade off when I need a change. One of my newest projects (unfinished), is of a singing Santa. I love all the neat stitches it requires. I particularly love that plaid scarf. How amazingly clever!

The worrisome detail that I refuse to seriously consider, is that I have had to begin wearing my carpal tunnel brace at night. Yes, I know that needlepoint will aggravate it, as will typing and playing the piano, and carrying heavy loads of books, laptop, etc., all of which I do on a daily basis. I am resorting to prayer along with the brace. :-(

Enough odds and ends for now. I need to teach!

Off to the Opera!

2007-01-06T09:42:00.000-05:00

Six of us are going to Jacksonville to see the Met broadcast of I Puritani by Bellini. Woohoo! Should be fun. Opera on the big screen, and not a film version!

Drat those cats...

2007-01-05T08:55:00.000-05:00

Every time I try to get a picture of Chino and Roxy chumming it up together, one of them sees me and spoils the pose by getting up to come see me! Drat!

A Useful Link!

2007-01-04T11:04:00.000-05:00

This link is for ANYONE who has ever tried to get past some company's automated voice system in order to speak with a human!!!
http://gethuman.com/us/

Why, oh why do we blog?

2007-01-04T09:38:00.000-05:00

After staying up till 1 in the morning looking at other people's blogs, I got to thinking. For many people, the blog is like a diary. Since a diary is most often a record of private thoughts, why do we post it in such a potentially public place, on the WORLD WIDE WEB???

My Grammie wrote a daily diary. After her death, I found boxes of small black datebooks - her diaries. Each represented one year's recording of her activities, the weather, and her observations. She didn't rant and rave. That's not to say the reader couldn't glean something of her emotions, but they were subtle, nonassertive, even apologetic.

I associate the word "diary" with adolescent girls - do they have them these days? A locked leather book with a tiny key holds all their wishes, dreams, and heartaches.

Thinking of earlier historical and literary examples, I recall reading books that were a collection of diary entries - one in particular, the name of which escapes me presently, was the diary of a pioneer woman. I would like to relocate it and read it again in light of these ramblings. Then there is the film example of Dances with Wolves - the Kevin Costner character had a diary in which he recorded his experiences, complete with drawings. One poignant moment happened after the Cavalry came to his camp, and one of the soldiers used a page of the diary for toilet paper!

But the question remains, and it deeply reflects our times, I believe, Why record our thoughts, feelings, and experiences in such a public forum?

There is so much available to us on the information highway, that we feel at once puny and insignificant, and at the same time possessed of power to reach a multitude of others! What a heady mixture of excitement - the possibility of enormous gratification when one's post is read, and the comment is affirming! A perfect stranger, or a "blog buddy" sharing our thoughts! I believe that is why it is important to acknowledge a writer's posting with a pertinent comment, if one comes to mind.

We are so separate, and at the same time, we can see how very many of us are out there. No small town, this, but a potentially global-sized, limitless circle of acquaintances, or even friends!

It's a fascinating topic, this blogging, and I welcome YOUR comments, dear reader.

Feeling somewhat aimless

2007-01-03T14:40:00.000-05:00

Awoke with a headache today, which must be related to the shower we were having at the time. When I drank I often experienced early morning headaches that were my version of a hangover. Seems rather unfair that I still have headaches and don't have the pleasure of my red wine in the evenings.

The heating and air-conditioning men are here installing the new heat pump, which, as it turns out, will cost us nearly $2800. Yuck! Ugh! Argh! Best laid plans of debt reduction.

So I have been researching "home based business" opportunities. Hmmm. I think they are only opportunities for those who have a yen to sell something, and I do NOT! More Daoist silliness, no doubt. How seductive to imagine making $500-1000 a week in 20 hours. No wonder they get so much traffic on their sites. I wonder if a business offering needlepoint/cross-stitch parties at home, rather like Tupperware parties, would find any takers? On the other hand, I know that I dislike invitations to such things, which are really ask one's friends and family to buy the product as a favor to the hostess. Even when I attend, I try to keep that in mind, because of my affection for my friend.

Chino, my 11 year old tabby (the bottom feline in the picture) just came down the hall into the computer room saying, "Rrrowww, rrowwww", with an orange plastic jack in his mouth, begging for play! When he was a little kitten that was his favorite game, and he would play it to the point of exhaustion and collapse complete with dog-like panting!!!! What an adorably engaging little critter he is!

So, if there are no get-rich-quick schemes that I can embrace, I need to be more creative. And creativity is something I do well...... ....

My Grammie and my mother used to say, "Where there's a will, there's a way," but I wonder....

the first business day of 2007

2007-01-02T11:40:00.000-05:00

"It's bad news," I told my husband on the cell phone, and proceeded to inform him that the loud bang I had heard at 3 a.m. on New Year's Eve had signaled the need for a new heat pump unit - $2600. He replied, "That's it? I was afraid you were going to tell me about somebody we love!"

Now, didn't that put things into perspective! Well, yes, it puts a big crimp in the debt reduction plans we'd made, at least temporarily, but seen in the greater picture, it's a puny setback! So I am not going to fret about it. At least this summer when we are sweating through the heat and humidity, we'll have a new heat pump to keep us cool at less money than we paid last summer!

Teaching today, 1:30-6, and Jeff wants me back for some of the Masters Track kids, so money is coming in, too. The sun is shining, the humidity is down and our loved ones are safe.

turning a new calendar page

2007-01-01T15:36:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year to you all!

I'm not so happy. Anthony and talked about the financial situation this morning and we are agreed. No new house this year, not even an old cottage. We have to get the bills taken care of first.

It's humid and cloudy - glad it's cloudy because with the heat pump in questionable condition, I prefer not to run it. Will see to getting it fixed tomorrow.

Watched a Pierce Brosnan/Woody Harrelson movie today - shades of 007. A jewel-thieving couple retiring to "Paradise". It's a concept lots of people would embrace, but it's not paradise to me. I wish for the woods of Goose Pond and the Grandmother tree. The subtle winter colors of the woods are beautiful to me, as are the trails through woods and fields and by the creek. Such an evocative environment. Anthony wonders if I would find NC as appealing and alluring. I have no doubt that I would, given time to explore and learn about the area. I could get really bummed at myself with all this debt. I know a lot of it is my doing. Now, I see a good reason for being more careful. I hope I can live up to my own standards. .

2006-12-31T14:21:00.000-05:00

Six months have passed! Eventful months. Tiring months. And here we are at the end of 2006. We have had plans since mid-October to move to Asheville, NC. I need some relief from the relentless Florida heat and the pervasive worry that a hurricane will come by.

We've been through so many incarnations of the dream - sell this house and buy a permanent residence in western NC, keep this house and buy a small retreat or even a mobile home in the mountains. So far, nothing has happened except that my house is a lot cleaner. And that is GOOD!

I worry about having enough money to implement any version of the plan. I think that will be my New Year's resolution - eliminate debt other than mortgage, student loan, and car loan. And since I am the one working AND the one spending most of the money, I am the one who must take responsibility for making it work! I expect that the $3100 tax credit for the new Prius will help!

So, the year from June 27 to date:

1. Terrible blow up with my son, causing me to retreat from contact with him. This required a new acceptance of the distance he wants between us. Very hard. Very sad.
2. Totalled my 2003 Prius. ALL my fault. Who said I could be a cowboy? I paid with bruises and pain for a few weeks. Then I got a wonderful NEW Prius. Wonderful car - 50 mpg!!!
3. The opera company www.firstcoastopera.com came home again. We keep trying to give it away but still maintain contact and the spirit it was founded in. This time I stupidly, foolishly allowed myself to get completely back into the areas I haven't wanted to handle for several years. This has caused a lot of stress and ultimately the push for relocation! The worst results are headaches and stomach agitation.
4. Much more needlepoint! Christmas presents for nearly everybody came out of that. I love working with the colors and textures.
5. The unheard of has happened - I have an ARTIFICIAL Christmas tree in my living room! It is quite beautiful, though.
6. I find myself, at the close of 2006, needing to remind myself that my own positive energy will create the positive results I want. I will need to exercise some discipline and forethought to combat my spending urges, particularly when it comes to stitching. I have strong Taoist leanings towards non-action, and this must be something I reflect upon and quite possibly release. Louise Hay's affirmations are not non-active, and I embrace that concept too. Perhaps inaction comes from that long-held victim-stance that has historically gotten me in big trouble!

I included this in my Christmas/Holiday letter
"To see a World in a Grain of Sand,
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
William Blake"
AND
"We are ever mindful that joy comes from seeking the wonder in whatever surrounds us, and treasuring friends, family and experiences as a mother cherishes a newborn child. We wish you that joy, now and in the New Year!"

That pretty much sums it up... now on to a new calendar!

Memoirs?

2006-06-27T09:43:00.000-04:00

Hmmmm..........
I've been thinking about blogging (so much on the news about MySpace.com). Anthony asked me a little while ago why such a shy and reserved person would create a blog. I still don't really have an answer, but I do know I like it better than journaling, of which I have done a lot at particular times of growth in my life.

From the title of this blog and my other (Things I recall with gratitude) one would expect it to be mostly about distant past events. Memoirs is the French word for memories. Perhaps it should be better entitled "thoughts of a biggish fish in a small pond". Ah, semantics.

Anyway, my pond seems to have a leak. The water level goes down intermittently, perhaps 6 inches or so, and once refilled it SOMETIMES goes down again. But sometimes it stays as it is for several days. Hmmmmm..... Such mystery. The nasty, inconvenient part would be having to take it apart and redo it in this heat! And I wonder if we could find the same shape plastic liner. I know there are a lot of options, but the big bugaboo for me is doing THAT job in 85-90 degree heat at 70-80% humidity! Ugh!

Otherwise, I've been stitching and teaching, stitching and teaching. Some days I stitch 8-9 hours.

I love my teaching, especially these days. Although I REALLY miss having Linda and Martha and Karen as accompanists for my students, the computer program Smart Music is a reasonable substitute. My students have such potential! They are truly wonderful, and for me they are a kind of family here in far off Florida, especially since my kids are no longer KIDS, but full fledged grown people with full lives of their own.

The studio!!!! It is so magical. Anthony and I spent some time out there last night in candle light listening to an 80 year old pianist playing Ravel. Ah, bliss. The room almost seems to have a rarefied air - like stepping into one of the magnificent cathedrals in England. There is a spaciousness there with the high ceiling, and a stillness. It's funny - sometimes when it rains I can hear one of those little green froggies outside and it's SO LOUD! How can such tiny, unprepossessing creatures make such a racket!!!???

That, of course, reminds me of a delicious memory! Both when I was growing up in Hanover and as a young mother in Monroe, I recall the calling of the spring peepers with such joy! Like our Florida tree frogs, these little fellas and gals were calling like mad for mates and the sound was a surefire indicator that TRUE spring was on its way!

I've been thinking about grass, too. NO, not the kind you smoke, you silly reader! Growing up in New Hampshire, one of my greatest delights was when I could shed my shoes and wriggle my toes in the young soft green blades of spring grass! Here, I would not DARE to do this, although I see a lot of the neighbor children running barefoot. There are scorpions, and fire ants, and hook worms and UGLY things that, as Anthony says, can ruin your day!!!

OK, that's enough for now. A week from tomorrow is my big anniversary/birthday. Probably food for more memoirs in a little while.....

2006-06-19T11:25:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, June 17th, a dinner was given in honor of me and Anthony! A number of my students sang, as did several colleagues. Roger Geronimo of Geronimo Classics conceived of the idea and put it together. It was lots of fun, and the St. Augustine Mayor read a proclamation. I was so glad that Roger included Anthony in this tribute, because my fear of hubris and my general shyness made me uncomfortable with the original idea which was to honor my teaching and my contribution to the arts in St. Augustine. Anyway it was MUCH MORE APPROPRIATE to honor us both! Anthony has worked tirelessly to allow me to do what I do best and also what I LOVE to do.

Martha McKie was the accompanist. Nana, Jennifer, Alicia, Blaine, Erin, Megan and Skylar sang, as did Regina, Roger, Ralph, Jimmy Il Voce and a soprano from South Africa. I sang, too. It was a lovely evening, and I didn't even miss having a glass of wine as a companion. Many good friends and students' parents and supporters from FCO and the synagogue attended. I was very happy!!!!

my needlepoint

2006-06-12T13:45:00.000-04:00

Since last summer when I had to make big changes in my life, I have become increasingly absorbed in NEEDLEPOINT. I love following the colors and varying stitches where appropriate and I get enormous satisfaction from watching the images/pictures emerge in thread! Some of my finished canvases are pictured below!

2006-06-12T13:40:00.000-04:00

A smiling koi, and many colors in the dragonfly, butterfly and lily are enhanced by purple and pink mats and a bamboo frame.

2006-06-12T13:39:00.000-04:00

Leaves of gold and purple bargello background offset delicate pink flowers on this kimono.

2006-06-12T13:38:00.000-04:00

Mt. Fuji - the blue sky is velvet thread and the snow sparkles at the top of the mountain.

2006-06-12T13:37:00.001-04:00

My southwestern lizard.

2006-06-12T13:37:00.000-04:00

One of my SEVEN small kimonos, this uses a silk overdyed thread for the background.

2006-06-12T13:36:00.000-04:00

I love DRAGONFLIES. Note the stitch details in the water, and the sparkly thread on the wings.

2006-06-12T13:35:00.000-04:00

This is called "counted needlepoint" and the design is "Celtic Knot". The medallion in the center is made of Femo.

2006-06-12T13:34:00.000-04:00

Notice the detail on the flowers' leaves!

2006-06-12T13:32:00.000-04:00

I love stitching KIMONOS! This is the largest one I have done. The white bird is stitched in velvet thread!

2006-06-12T13:16:00.000-04:00

Last month, I went to Orange County, New York to attend my daughter-in-law Fran's "graduation" from a registered dietitian program. This has been Fran's dream for a long time and the family is VERY proud of her. The ceremony and seeing her deep emotion at having really done it, both moved me greatly.

While I was there, I also spent the day in my daughter Sarah's first grade classroom. She is a natural teacher and the children simply adore her. Below are a lot of pictures of her and her class.
I am very proud of Sarah and of Fran for their accomplishments, and my son Dan, who at nearly 32, has been the sergeant of the town police force for 3+ years already and is more than halfway to the required 20 years for an excellent pension!

I also had a wonderful walk with my friend Tedi in "my" woods at Goosepond State Park. What a delicious form of "re-creation".

Now I'm home and the first named tropical storm of 2006 is heading our way. May it NOT be a sign of the severity of the season to come!

2006-06-12T13:04:00.002-04:00

2006-06-12T12:58:00.001-04:00

sarah in action

2006-06-12T12:58:00.000-04:00

describing words

Easter in Charleston

2006-04-13T09:48:00.000-04:00

I'm leaving today to go to Charleston, again, to spend Easter with my Mother and try to get her new email sorted out. She has clung to AOL (ugh) until I convinced her to get DSL. Now she has to learn something new and she resists it. I told her it was the best thing for her brain to learn, as per research on the elderly. That was probably the thing that convinced her to try it out.

It is beautiful here. My big beautiful purple iris are blooming and the burgundy iris are not far behind. The Confederate jasmine will soon pop and then the front garden will be heady with scent. It is supposed to be 90 degrees on Easter - hope it will be cooler in Charleston. I dread those 90's. But most of the plants will come along well. Except the poor lovely little pansies.

I am driving up with my buddy Linda. That will make the trip go faster. Linda is a hoot. She really makes me laugh. We will take my car, as gas prices are pushing the $2.80's per gallon.

Best thing is I am leaving before the sacred Easter dinner. I really tried to convince Mother to GO OUT, so there would be more time to visit and less drudgery in the kitchen, but she is SET on it. It's not the dinner that I am glad to miss, but the time spent with my brother, who appears to have a pretty bad grudge against me right now. Sad thing is that I only know this via my mother's report. He has said nothing to me personally of his anger! Like the hate mail, that free-floating unacknowledged anger makes me terribly uneasy. Wish I could slough it off!

I have no wish to ramble here, so I'll leave anymore for later.

Would you like a little cheese with your whine?

2006-04-09T17:25:00.000-04:00

Ah, no thanks. Things have been cheesy and ripe enough!

Yes, this is going to be a whine. (What happened to positive thinking?) Oh, that! Well, I think some of the negatives need to be released instead of merely pushed below the surface. That is why I am going to VENT yet again! Any who wish not be be covered with the regurgitated contents of my emotions may decide not to read any more!

So, first the wedding gig - yesterday in the hot spring weather, with w-i-n-d off the St. Johns River. I love singing with Jim, but the music was kind of crappy and low for me, though it ended on a high B-flat! Bocelli sings it, I believe - The Prayer. It's okay if you don't know any greater music, but so much less than it could have been! And things ran long, so I was late for my plans with Anthony last night. He was understanding and forgiving, but I felt the undertow of chaos pulling me down! (whine, whine)

Next this morning - singing at the Christian Science Church - and leaving right after the solo, instead of staying till the end so I could rush to Memorial Presbyterian and sing in the Rutter Requiem, which organist/choir director (and my friend) Janet Graham picked out for Palm Sunday 3 months ago, before her incapacitation and death last Thursday from breast cancer. I was okay singing it. Basically, I took over for Kris and Jane when the tessitura went out of their range - another B-flat. And I was okay until the very last piece when the text began to grab at my throat - "They rest from their labors..." all the way up a descending scale to that B-flat - Janet was such a powerhouse - always on the move to make worship a cohesive and organic whole. One of the choir members later asked me if I saw Janet "up there" on the B-flat. That was a cute compliment. I do feel sure that Janet was there, feeling proud of her choir. After the final piece, there was dead silence in the sanctuary for several seconds. Then people actually began to leave in quiet.

Now this stupid ---- gig. I am not putting their name in this post. I still consider if VERY likely that the hate mail came from someone in that organization. Anyway, I have to sing 2 songs - fun stuff - Adele's Laughing Song from Die Fledermaus and the Cavatina from Don Pasquale. I don't know if either of them is really memorized, and I don't really care. The pay is meager and my enthusiasm even less. I think the worst of it is that I feel like I am going unarmed and vulnerable into enemy territory.

There is another thing that is troubling me, too, but I am not sure it is appropriate to discuss it here. Perhaps later. Most of all when you add everything up, it seems like a load of crap has been dumped on me lately. (Whine, whine.) I think it may be a test. I hope I can pass it.

Who used address her readers as "Dear Reader"? I kind of feel I should do that, too. However, I suspect you only number two, and that is comforting. Thank you for listening, or if you tuned out earlier, bless you for your good sense!

losing my perspective

2006-04-03T12:06:00.000-04:00

I have been having kind of a bad time lately. And this weekend Anthony has been pretty sick - coughing long and hard and feeling pretty miserable. I've never experienced him being so sick! He is a good patient, though, taking his medications and steaming over a bowl of Vicks without complaint. He's been sick, really since last Monday!

I came down with something on Thursday night,too -- started on a Z-pack on Friday morning, took a 4 hour nap in the afternoon and by Saturday was feeling nearly human, but tired.

What confounds me is how fragile I have been! I broke down and cried in church yesterday! And for what? I was reprimanded for stitching during the "sermon". I have been doing that for nearly 3 months! I really listen, and stay awake, but apparently some ex-military man found it offensive. Grrr. For a proponent of affirmations and positive thinking, this is truly a test. I think it's a combination of exhaustion, the weather heating up (which always makes me dread the suffocating summer to come), that stupid hate mail and a feeling of being adrift. What I want is about a month off! Maybe I'll take off May! It's almost too hot to garden, and there is a LOT I wanted to do! I worry about my mother's health and financial situation. None of this worry, etc, is really my style anymore. Since 2002, shortly after I had the stroke, I have been dedicated to "putting positive energy" into the world. It's really become second nature. But I'm slipping....

So I guess this is my venting space. And I need to take better charge of my thoughts. I also need to get more active- yoga, walking, Tibetan rites, whatever. MUST get the body moving! Maybe tomorrow. I still feel fatigued from the illness.

HATE MAIL

2006-03-25T16:42:00.000-05:00

Why would someone write this to me? It's very upsetting to be the target of hate. Yes, I know it stems from envy and a small mind, but it is still distressing to be so ill-thought-of.

I am quite careful to treat each person with respect and as the Quakers say, "to see that of God in everyone" so this means that this person or these persons do not perceive that aspect of my personality.

As they were so cowardly as to send this anonymously, there is no response I can give. I will simply relinquish the wish to atone and accept that which I cannot change. What a strange world we live in!

2006-03-25T16:39:00.000-05:00

on vacation by the big bridge

2006-03-24T10:47:00.000-05:00

Here I am in Charleston, SC, on vacation at my mother's house. I am very happy to be here, watching TV in the evening and stitching away at my needlepoint. We've been shopping, out to eat, to a movie and I have been "cleaning up" her computer. She is kind of afraid of technology, so I have pledged to manage it. AND I talked her into getting DSL. I have been trying to persuade her to get rid of her AOL, too, because I just HATE it. But she clings to its familiarity.

I AM going back to St. Augustine tomorrow morning. Back to the "real" unreal world of jobs and obligations . I will miss her. She is a very special person. How I wish she lived closer. I cannot move, because my career is too firmly entrenched in St. Augie. She WON'T move because of her ties here - she has been here 17 and a half years. I cannot blame her.

I will post more soon. I want to talk about the hate mail I received about a week ago and about the thrill I got singing Madame Strasvichaya (Mme Goldentrill) in Mozart's The Impresario last weekend.

two down and three to go

2006-03-06T09:34:00.000-05:00

The weekend began with FFMC auditions. Of the 5 registered, only 3 of my students sang, and all received superior!!! Of course, I am very proud of them. It is a special joy in my life to be influential in the development of young musicians.

I took a LONG nap after the auditions and then got ready for Saturday night's gig. The big community chorus Pops concert was this weekend. I am glad it is over, though I enjoyed the rehearsals, and for some reason I enjoyed last year's concert more! Mostly, it just made me really tired. Still, I don't intend to whine here, so let me say that it was, with all its flaws, very well received.

And now for the last big push to get the FVA students ready for their auditions. There are 14 who are eligible to sing. Because of testing, I have been limited in my time seeing them. I don't know how many are truly ready - perhaps 5. Argh. I need to see as many of them as possible this week, and depend upon Jeff to work his magic, too.

Then there is the synagogue show on Saturday night - I only have to sing one song, and it will be easy. Still, we will be deep into rehearsals for The Impresario by then. So many details to remember and take care of.

*** It has been 8 months since I changed my life - 8 months yesterday in fact. And the day we open The Impresario will be 4 years to the day since I had the stroke. I have strange feelings about this time of year, now.

However, the maple trees leaves POPPED open yesterday, and the air is crisp and fresh in the mornings, not heavy and humid. It's beautiful being outside! It makes me long for late April in Goosepond State Park in NY. Oh, well, time to get cracking on production details.

ARRRGH! Some things should remain nameless!

2006-02-28T13:07:00.000-05:00

I went to see my gastroenterologist this morning - just a check up. My liver enzymes are the same, no decrease, no increase, simply as elevated as they were way back last fall. So now he names this previously anonymous condition - auto-immune hepatitis. So why does this bum my out so much! Nothing has changed by his naming it - I am not on any treatment for it, but still it bothers me. I now host TWO autoimmune diseases - scleroderma, AKA CREST, and this hepatitis thingy. All he said was to avoid things that harm the liver - alcohol and drugs that are processed through the liver, like any cholesterol lowering agent, which thankfully, I am not on anyway. I just needed to blow off steam. It really does annoy me and it is senseless to be annoyed because nothing is different from before the naming. It is silly of me to feel this way. Why can't feelings be rational?!

coming up for air

2006-02-26T18:06:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy few weeks! Lots going on in First Coast Opera AND my life. Many, many students - I love teaching. I love the satisfaction of mining for the best sound in a student and the satisfaction of knowing that THEY know the results improved and were easier, too! NATS auditions past, Florida Federation of Music Clubs and Florida Vocal Association auditions to come. It's a time crowded with details!

Yet, I have found some time to be in my garden - to clean the pond and trim back the fern and to clean up dead vegetation. My iris are getting ready to burst forth - the foliage is bright and healthy looking. I get really excited about my iris - one is solid deep purple and one is burgundy with a yellow throat. The other is white and to date, the blue flags have NOT bloomed.

Now, I will speak of my needlepoint! I am working on 3 canvases at the moment - one of a kimono in black with a big white bird and flowers in green and teal and white on it, one small one of a dragonfly in blue and white and green, a large canvas of a lizard in LOTS of colors. When they are done I will photograph them and add them to my blog.

I was rejected for flap LASIK surgery this week! The doctor won't operate on patients with scleroderma and possibly all autoimmune diseases! Rats! I thought that after all these years of wearing glasses (since I was 2 years old!) I could be done with them!

I have loved watching the Olympics these two weeks. The pair skaters who performed to Puccini's Madama Butterfly brought me to tears! And such high drama! Like the Italian pair whose red-headed diva was unspeakably unsportsmanlike with such a huge audience! I wonder how she feels about that now! Talk about a LARGE POND!

So, on to Mozart! We will be doing The Impresario in modern period with Mr. Angel, the backer, as Luigi Angelo, the mob boss. Dan loves the idea. I just haven't figured out what the costumes will be. I hope I still have my high F! I don't want to feel foolish in my small pond. www.firstcoastopera.com

2006-02-07T19:50:00.001-05:00

Chino (on top bunk) and Roxy - cats just love boxes!

2006-02-07T19:50:00.000-05:00

Lucy the cat in Charleston, SC

2006-02-07T19:46:00.000-05:00

Singing at the Lightner Museum - The Hours Creep on Apace from HMS Pinafore

splash

2006-02-04T11:39:00.000-05:00

Okay, here I am. "This is my blog, this is my blog, I never travel without my blog", as King Kaspar sings in Amahl and the Night Visitors. I guess I am a blog "virgin", never having posted my thoughts for LOTS of folks to read before, BUT I had run out of things to edit on my company website www.firstcoastopera.com and thought I would try my hand here.

I am a very happy person, by and large, because I do many things that I REALLY love. I am sure this is a terrible thing to write in a blog, because I have always been told that blogs are a good place to let off steam. On the other hand, I believe in either 1) speaking the truth as I see it, OR 2) making up an whopper of a story. This is the first. Maybe later I will concoct a fantasy life!!!

I get to sing a lot and I LOVE singing.
I get to TEACH singing, and I love seeing people open to the beauty they are able to create with their voices - such magic we have inside of us, that can remain unmined and unknown!
I get to work on the website that I created.
I get to play on line Scrabble!!
I get to stitch needlepoint canvases in the sweet evenings while watching Law and Order or Crossing Jordan or even a movie!
I get to love my kitties - I DO love my kitties. They are Lucy, Chino and Roxy. Perhaps I will post THEIR pictures, too, because they are truly GORGEOUS felines.
I have a husband who makes me very happy, and cooks dinner for me, too!
I have wonderful friends who make me laugh, let me cry and tell me the truth!
I have children I adore and step-daughters I love and respect.
My mother is my best friend, and we spent 26 days in the UK in 2004 touring London, Cornwall, Scotland and Wiltshire - oh, such happy memories.
I live in a wonderful house in Florida (I don't like Florida - too hot in the summer, but I love OUR town) with a room like a cathedral solely devoted to music which houses my grand piano.

I am sure I have forgotten something, but I will just come back and edit. I enjoy editing a web post, as I enjoy tweaking my life to make it better!

I try to keep a positive attitude - I believe positive energy begets positive energy and vice versa. Since I began focusing on the positive a few years back, I have been happier and healthier. So, that means I attempt to turn "bad" things into gifts - e.g. the stroke that left me mostly speechless (for a few days) and with diminished sensation in my right hand, also taught me to slow down, consider my options, and "carpe diem". Take time to study the birds at the feeder, to watch the moon wheel overhead, to feel the cat's purr on the palm of my hand - these become as important as "getting things done". I think that explains my newfound, and long overdue happiness.

The organization we founded - First Coast Opera - has been a source of wonderful friendships and collaborations, as well as marvelous musical experiences.

I wish more people would take the time to develop a positive outlook - the world would be much more peaceful and joyful.

I guess I should sign my name POLLYANNA.

Who cares? This is for the people I love - I hope you know who you are, and if you are in doubt, believe it is true! May your lives be filled with things that bring you peace and joy.

Luciluna - the light of the moon rest softly on you