Easter in Charleston

I'm leaving today to go to Charleston, again, to spend Easter with my Mother and try to get her new email sorted out. She has clung to AOL (ugh) until I convinced her to get DSL. Now she has to learn something new and she resists it. I told her it was the best thing for her brain to learn, as per research on the elderly. That was probably the thing that convinced her to try it out.

It is beautiful here. My big beautiful purple iris are blooming and the burgundy iris are not far behind. The Confederate jasmine will soon pop and then the front garden will be heady with scent. It is supposed to be 90 degrees on Easter - hope it will be cooler in Charleston. I dread those 90's. But most of the plants will come along well. Except the poor lovely little pansies.

I am driving up with my buddy Linda. That will make the trip go faster. Linda is a hoot. She really makes me laugh. We will take my car, as gas prices are pushing the $2.80's per gallon.

Best thing is I am leaving before the sacred Easter dinner. I really tried to convince Mother to GO OUT, so there would be more time to visit and less drudgery in the kitchen, but she is SET on it. It's not the dinner that I am glad to miss, but the time spent with my brother, who appears to have a pretty bad grudge against me right now. Sad thing is that I only know this via my mother's report. He has said nothing to me personally of his anger! Like the hate mail, that free-floating unacknowledged anger makes me terribly uneasy. Wish I could slough it off!

I have no wish to ramble here, so I'll leave anymore for later.

Would you like a little cheese with your whine?

Ah, no thanks. Things have been cheesy and ripe enough!

Yes, this is going to be a whine. (What happened to positive thinking?) Oh, that! Well, I think some of the negatives need to be released instead of merely pushed below the surface. That is why I am going to VENT yet again! Any who wish not be be covered with the regurgitated contents of my emotions may decide not to read any more!

So, first the wedding gig - yesterday in the hot spring weather, with w-i-n-d off the St. Johns River. I love singing with Jim, but the music was kind of crappy and low for me, though it ended on a high B-flat! Bocelli sings it, I believe - The Prayer. It's okay if you don't know any greater music, but so much less than it could have been! And things ran long, so I was late for my plans with Anthony last night. He was understanding and forgiving, but I felt the undertow of chaos pulling me down! (whine, whine)

Next this morning - singing at the Christian Science Church - and leaving right after the solo, instead of staying till the end so I could rush to Memorial Presbyterian and sing in the Rutter Requiem, which organist/choir director (and my friend) Janet Graham picked out for Palm Sunday 3 months ago, before her incapacitation and death last Thursday from breast cancer. I was okay singing it. Basically, I took over for Kris and Jane when the tessitura went out of their range - another B-flat. And I was okay until the very last piece when the text began to grab at my throat - "They rest from their labors..." all the way up a descending scale to that B-flat - Janet was such a powerhouse - always on the move to make worship a cohesive and organic whole. One of the choir members later asked me if I saw Janet "up there" on the B-flat. That was a cute compliment. I do feel sure that Janet was there, feeling proud of her choir. After the final piece, there was dead silence in the sanctuary for several seconds. Then people actually began to leave in quiet.

Now this stupid ---- gig. I am not putting their name in this post. I still consider if VERY likely that the hate mail came from someone in that organization. Anyway, I have to sing 2 songs - fun stuff - Adele's Laughing Song from Die Fledermaus and the Cavatina from Don Pasquale. I don't know if either of them is really memorized, and I don't really care. The pay is meager and my enthusiasm even less. I think the worst of it is that I feel like I am going unarmed and vulnerable into enemy territory.

There is another thing that is troubling me, too, but I am not sure it is appropriate to discuss it here. Perhaps later. Most of all when you add everything up, it seems like a load of crap has been dumped on me lately. (Whine, whine.) I think it may be a test. I hope I can pass it.

Who used address her readers as "Dear Reader"? I kind of feel I should do that, too. However, I suspect you only number two, and that is comforting. Thank you for listening, or if you tuned out earlier, bless you for your good sense!