It's all relative
It is February. The 5th, to be precise. 3 weeks ago I had some routine tests done at the lab. Last week my doctor called me in, just as she had in October when I had the upper endoscopy performed, because my ferritin level was low. It is again, so she sent me to the gastroenterologist, who has recommended a colonoscopy. I had one done that awful September of 2004 when Charley, Frances and one other hurricane/tropical storm came through. What a nuisance. Mostly, I am afraid we will owe again for the anesthesiologist, whom I just paid off for the EGD. Argh.... Can't seem to get ahead.
I'm on a z-pack, too, for a sinus infection that struck me on Friday - fierce headache that would NOT go away, and lethargy. I have canceled, in the past 5 days, $135 worth of lessons. I HATE to do that, but I just have not felt well enough! I know I cannot push for too long or too hard before I pay for it physically. I did it for 5 years during the divorce, and look where it got me - scleroderma and autoimmune liver disease.
I'm struggling to keep my head above water. I'm struggling to maintain a positive attitude - in fact, I think I have failed with that! Still, I spoke to B.A. today and her sister is having a prophylactic double mastectomy done in early March. B.A., her mother, and one of her sisters, have all had breast cancer. I need to keep this all in perspective. Whew!
So, I will end this with a litany of gratitude. I am grateful for:
1. A wonderful, supportive, loving husband, whom I love!
2. Relatively good health
3. A home I love, that is comfortable and warm - a haven and a sanctuary.
4. Three beautiful, loving cats.
5. Needlepoint!!
6. Singing!
7. An occupation that I truly enjoy most of the time, that makes me feel useful and uniquely special.
8. Good friends.
9. My computer!
10. Living in a country with more freedoms, resources and wealth than most of the world can imagine.
That should do it! I will ponder these blessings and keep them in my heart. I will substitute a positive affirmation whenever I'm tempted to feel sorry for myself. I hate self-pity! Ugh!
Nearly everything in life to which we give "value" is relative, and I need to remember this!
Woohoo!
2 comments:
Thank you for your comment on my blog. After reading this entry, I have to agree, things are mostly relative. What may be the best case for lawyer may be the worst outcome for their client. Funny how things depend on which side of them you happen to be on.
Good luck on your health, I think your possitive attitude will help you through it all.
I enjoyed your blog. Thank you for your comment on my site and thank you for your warm wishes. I hope, too, that good things come your way soon. It sounds as if you could use some hope in your life. The needlepoint picture is AMAZING!!
Take care
-El
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